the midwife booking appointment

Monday i had the midwife booking appointment. The appointment where they figure youre to lazy to read the pamphlets they give you to read while you wait in the waiting room to see the midwife... the appointment that you go to where they also point out and circle in pen the phone numbers you need in call, in case something happens, in case your in labour, in case you have a question...
the appointment where they ask you 40 questions, that no doubt get asked at every appointment..
It went well, she said something bout being a bit late.. i shrugged it off saying something bout can never be to late to which she said something bout those who never see midwives and come in and deliver bubs in a tsk tsk naughty mothers tone.
I took in my birth plan, i winced at how many bits of bold text i had used, perhaps i should have done the same and circled the 'assuming all goes well', 'id like the option too'.. as the midwife hmm-ed thru it.. and then said id have to sign a consent form about not getting the synotocin jab to deliver the placenta *groans* i didnt want to do that, i wanted the option to decline it if all is well and to have it if it wasnt going all well..
The next point was that with a IV the tube bit that goes in, i would be better mobile if it was in my hand.. as opposed to it being in my arm.. which i had heard makes you more able to walk around etc.. ive never had a IV drip, so i have no clue.. if they put one in me and tell me i wont be able to walk i'll be very tempted to take it out and walk.. (during labour)
the next point she bought up was "hmm they wont be too happy about that" oh? "during a emergency cesear at frankston hospital. they dont want the hubby/partner in the same room, its too traumatic", Hubby who was there said that he had seen worse.. Which had me thinking.. whats more traumatic being right next to me, holding my hand (whether im awake or not) or more traumatic watching behind glass.. i mean come on.. and what bout me? if im awake, all by myself with alien looking doctors how traumatic is that going to be to me!??!! "they" dont have to like it, they just have to make it happen the way i want it! :D

So i went home, took out some lines, changed others, reduced the amount of words in bold..
Birth Preferences
(using a template from www.bellybelly.com.au)

We’re hoping for a natural childbirth without unnecessary interventions or the use of drugs. We appreciate your support with our birth preferences.This plan represents our preferences; however we recognise that in the event of unforeseen difficulties it may need to be re-negotiated. Please discuss all options with us.
We would like the birth experience to be respectful and private as we know this is conductive to a successful birth, with minimal interruptions, quiet voices and dimmed lighting.

ACTIVE BIRTH

§ I’d like the freedom to choose positions and walk around in labour as desired.

§ I’m happy to have intermittent external fetal monitoring unless continuous monitoring is medically necessary.

§ Please don’t offer drugs; I am aware of the options for pain relief and will ask for it if needed.

§ As long the baby and I are fine, I would prefer to be free of time limits and not have my labour augmented.

§ I would like to deliver in any position that feels right to me at the time, including on the floor. I wish to avoid being on the bed in a back-lying position.

§ I’d only like an episiotomy if there is a genuine medical emergency. Please allow time for the perineum to stretch naturally. I prefer a small tear to an episiotomy.

BIRTH AND SOON AFTER

Presuming baby and I are well, we’d like:

§ The option for my Husband or myself to ‘catch’ our baby

§ To discover the sex of the baby ourselves.

§ The option for my husband to cut the cord

§ To hold our baby immediately after the birth. (We'll cover the baby with our own blanket that we'll bring from home.)

§ For all newborn procedures (weighing and measuring) to wait until I have had time to bond with and breastfeed our baby at least an hour

§ Assuming blood loss is acceptable. I’d like the option to have or not have the routine Syntocinon injection to help deliver the placenta & in the event of declining the Syntocinon, no controlled cord traction. Please let me have half an hour to a hour to deliver the placenta naturally if I decline.

· To wait until the umbilical cord stops pulsating before clamping (or at least 3-5mins), to allow my baby to receive the valuable blood and iron stores.

§ For baby to be given only breast milk – no water or formula.

§ That the baby has Vit k and Hep B shots shortly after bonding time.

§ I would like my husband to stay with me for as long as possible so that the baby has time to bond with him

INDUCTION / AUGMENTATION

If baby and I are well, I would like my baby to decide his/her own due date. Should labour induction become necessary at any time, I'd like to start with the least artificial means first - i.e. nipple stimulation, massage or a stretch and sweep before a medical induction. I would like time to allow the natural inductions work.

If this is unsuccessful and a medical induction or augmentation becomes medically necessary I’d like:

§ To only have my waters to be broken at first instance if my cervix is open. I would like to be given a generous amount of time for labour to establish upon rupture of membranes before other forms of medical induction / augmentation. I would like to go home if all is well, until labour is established.

§ If I require Syntocinon, I would like a very low dose, to be increased gradually and slowly. Once my labour is established I would like the option to choose to stop the dose being increased, lower the dose or stop the drip to allow my body to continue to labour without artificial oxytocin.

CAESAREAN

If a caesarean becomes medically necessary I’d like:

§ For my Husband to be given the option to be with me regardless. I believe he can make his own decision on if it would be traumatic for him to be there or more traumatic being out of the room watching.

§ For discussion to be respectful and minimal - only what is required medically and to inform me of what is happening

§ For the screen lowered so we can witness the birth of our baby

§ Unless prevented by medical emergency, I would like my baby to be placed on my chest while you complete the procedure

§ To be sure that a double layer suture is used and not a single layer in order to improve my chances for a future VBAC

§ For the cord to stop pulsating before clamping for reasons mentioned

§ I would like only my husband to hold our baby until I am fit and able.

answers

1) i feel for any woman who has difficulties or cant give birth naturally. :(
2) Did you get nice treatment in hospital?
- hmm, yes the day shift people weren't as nice, the night people were better.. i did like one particular nurse. Um, i was having problems with tia latching on and feeding properly the poor thing was starving and here i was with a case of supersized rocks of a chest when the milk came in. i think i over did the 'have baby on the nipple to make the milk come thru thing'. I avoided nurses and they avoided me, i found they scuttled around trying to be un-noticed. When i wanted help instead of pressing the button and waiting, i went straight to the main desk!! Where they all are gossiping while theres all those lights lit up.. there was a pregnant nurse in the wing also and the nurses would let her have a nap on her night shift. Each nurse would come in and see i was having problems and suggest a new way to feed, then the next one would come in and say 'why are you doing it that way?' do it this way.. and so on.
ARGH! I was getting tired of everyone walking past the public ward room and looking in at me, so i loved putting the curtains around, but then the day nurses would come in and put them back :( there was this mum who smoked and would just go out this fire escape door, but then she would leave it open or unlocked and this made the nurses really mad and they said it was a secruity issue . (i overheard it at night)

3)how big Tia was at birth? Tia was 8 pounds 10 or 3.925kgs and 52.5cms in length.
4) i know i said a scientologist could have envied the birth, it was still the most painful thing ever in my whole life.. i was just so wrapped up in my own la-la land! (i was determined to evict Tia!!! lol) i only pushed for maybe 20minutes, im guessing its much more painful if u have to push for hours, i couldnt imagine that! I had alot of people praying for me (besides myself) that the birth went well and that it was what i wanted and not so painful/long etc..

4) Facebook. yeah people are using their full real names much more so than on myspace. I guess it does make it easier to find people.

5) Eat and stay thin" from Joyce Meyer. I dont remember the full book, but her diet is from memory just eating what you need and nothing more.. healthy salads and stuff.. not low carb or anything else strange. Its more of a why you should look after yourself better, how to not focus on food etc..

6) Do your cupcakes (or cookies) have flour in them tiffany? Oh they certainly did! I'm not a fan of flour free cakes.. or egg free (or substitutes) cakes.(thankful that i dont have gluten intolerance and i feel for anyone who is and/or is allergic to chocolate!) My cookies had pieces of almonds and cooking chocolate and lasted 3 days.. and my cupcakes had uht custard in it as i needed to use it up. They weren't really 'diet' or healthy with the sugar and light canola so i added the protein powder and psyllium to rationalize it/make them give more of a 'fuller' feeling. I usually put psyllium & protein in pancakes and call em poocakes!!!! LOL!

7) skinny people trying to drop a dress size. i totally understand with the whole, they struggle with 10kgs at 60kgs! and here i am trying to loose 20-45kgs! I heard a add on tv while making breakfast.. think it was jenny craig. basically this chick saying she wasnt happy being a size 14 and now shes a size 8-10 she can wear bikinis! hullo?!! anyone can wear a bikini! Its just a self esteem issue! In truth any weight loss program will try to sell to you that you are fat and that you need to spend your money on becoming a acceptable public rake figure that can wear a bikini... On the other side, if you have 30-45kgs to loose you have a daily points of 20+ , however a person at 60kgs trying to loose the last 5kgs or more (depending on height and self esteem) has probably 10pts a day! and that i cannot imagine doing! (rough figures only, not exact.. my guess anyways) so i guess they do struggle in that their bods dont use/need much energy and therefore dont get to eat much or much sugar/fat etc. I can relate with the skinny people giving diet advice! The weirdest one i heard was eating frozen grapes, apparently very nice to snack on.

8) Scottish heritage- My pop is big into tracing the family tree, he has gone way back and traced em to peasants living on a lords land in scotland and late last year they went over there and (got lost alot) and checked the place out. English heritage- all i know is my dads grandma, uncles and aunts and himself live/came from england (on his mums side) and his dad was most definately living in england and also came over.. but thats as much as i know, no one has bothered looking up the family tree, dont have much to go on, myself. But i think the last name 'Fairclough' *shudders* speaks english enough, loud n clear! I've chosen to not keep in contact with my dad's, mum. My dad's dad died 10+yrs ago of a brain tumor. (i never knew him)

Thanks maria for sharing your secrets! ^^ i can relate to alot of them!

i love the rain

Yes, altho it makes me stay indoors and i dont usually go out shopping.. or so much. My favourite time for when it rains would have to be at night when i go to bed.. hearing the wind and the rain drops, for me is very soothing. i try to stay up to listen to the rain but end up falling asleep very quickly. (it rained last night & this morning)
I can look out to windows on opposite sides of the room, at this moment one window is grey/white and out the other window is a brilliant blue. Funny, but that happens alot lately.

I've been thinking alot of the 7kg whopper of a newborn bub.. obviously from the early ultrasounds they knew it was going to be a big one! And along with the bad care given to mums n bubs in trouble with hospitals ive been thinking about it alot. This clearly isnt a one-off thing, it happens alot and not just with bubs n mums..
But thinking about my experience. You go to the doctors you say ur pregnant, they whisk you off to the toilet to pee in a cup.. they ask u when ur cycle started and then get the pathology back to estimate how far along you are.. with that info they gave me the due date of 11th may. it made sense, i went to the first ultrasound where they smear cold jelly on ur tummy and tell you that pixelated image is your baby they take photos of its arm bones, face, feet your cervix etc.. From the measurement of Tia's arm bone from the ultrasound they said she was older and my due date was then the 6th of may! (and now i can think back on that and say thats impossible..)
to cut this part of the story short, Tia was born on the 11th may! her original due date!
It was mothers day, i decided not to go to church that morning as i didnt feel well! I told my mum i was having some pain like a period pain.. and from then completely forgot it was mothers day until it was over..
I could have made a scientologist envious at the birth.. i was very quiet except for a "oh my god" when Tia came out.. oh the relief! lol! I was quiet during labour didnt ask for any pain meds and so the nurses were telling me i could go home!!! I had to ask for them to to a internal check and they were shocked! (so despite reading the bub magazines of other mums stories of nurses wanting to check all the time and then the birthing class constantly telling us not to let them do internal checks till the very end) (apologies if your eating your breakfast!!!)

In other good news, its friday!!! YAY!!